Transparency is freedom, so I commit to sharing my story with you.
I’m still up because my 8 year old cousin has a crazy amount of energy. I don’t remember if I was up till 2am when I was an 8 year old.
Anyway, as I had managed to keep her quiet by putting on Despicable Me 2, I was rummaging through old things that I had stashed when I was moving and going to college. I found my high school yearbook and went through all the pages of notes, awkward photos, and messages. I stopped on a message that my former best friend had written to me on our last days of high school. She took up 2 whole pages talking about how we first met and how we both were just in harmony and cohesion with each other.
I had completely forgotten about all the good times that we shared. Recently, the both of us had eventually stopped talking to each other. Naturally, I’m the type of person to fight for my relationships with people and when I noticed that things between us were beginning to slip, I tried all that I could to salvage the friendship. But she was changing, I was inevitably changing, and eventually I got the message that she didn’t even want me to contact her anymore. That was a break that I had to follow through with earlier last year.
And let me tell you, for a person like me–that was difficult. In fact, there were times when I wondered if I hadn’t tried enough. Tonight though, I think that as soon as I finished the last sentence “I love you Adaobi! Love, So &So”, it gave me a weird sense of closure. I realized that there really was a friendship there and I did try. And once upon a time, we had a very good relationship. But what happened? Life happened. People change, and that’s ok. I guess reading that message served as a reminder that there was more that happened between us than just the decline in our friendship. I think that was probably my final step to letting go.
Just some thoughts.