Transparency is freedom, so I commit to sharing my story with you.
For those of you that aren’t familiar with the Spanish language, it means The Future.
The Future. That seems to be the running theme of my life now. I’m currently a junior and senior year is creeping up on me much like Andy Samberg in the Lonley Island (don’t get my reference? Feel free to click the linky). It feels like yesterday when I pulled up to my university for my freshman year. It was stupid early, (my mom thought that traffic on the way would be monstrously jam packed, but she ended up being wrong) and I was anxious and ready to take on the world yet at the same time hide from it. That was probably one of the most stretching years of my life. Now looking back at it compared to me now, my worries have transferred from how am I going to ace a midterm to, WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO DO WHEN I GRADUATE??
Every time I bring this up with one of my friends who are seniors or have already graduated, they dismiss me and tell me,
“Oh hey, you have plenty time to figure that out.”
Yeah…well you said that 2 years ago when I was a freshman. When will time no longer be plenty? Or maybe they’re right in trying to calm me down. Maybe I am just over thinking the whole process and really need to focus on what I really enjoy doing and develop skills in my hobbies. Ultimately, I hope to work for a magazine publication and I can’t say that I haven’t made steps towards that. I just feel like in a world where someone is always one step ahead of you, I am forever behind the curve.
In high school, I graduated pretty much on top of my class, got into my dream school, and had a 4 year plan of how I wanted to get into medical school and eventually become a pediatrician. Well, biology 120 taught me that, that dream was going to be shut down real quick right after I realized I hated anything that had to do with labs (high school lab v college lab? Yeah, it’s not the same). So I went into studying journalism and 2 years later here I am. I should know by now that not everything goes as planned, but I am such a natural planner (nicer way of saying controlling hah) that it’s hard to live and let live. To just enjoy the moments you have and trust that things will truly fall into place. I call this blog, In Disorderly Fashion because I originally wanted it to strictly be a fashion blog, but my mind changed. I added the “In” and the ellipsis, signifying that I have no idea where I am going and my path to my ultimate destiny is going to be pretty unconventional. It’s a play on words–we grew up in elementary school hearing our teachers telling us to line up in “an orderly fashion” so by the name of this blog, I hope to break out of the box. Push out of the mold.
Just some food for thought.